I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
