ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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