She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
