ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
