He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize