omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't deserve a penis
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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