Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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