You smell like a Billy Joel song
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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