Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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