hell yes lets make some ravioli
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
