he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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