I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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