He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize