if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he puts the penis in happiness.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
