I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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