i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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