they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
