don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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