so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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