Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize