At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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