I feel like abortions should bother me more
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
