i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
