omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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