I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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