how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize