butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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