I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
