You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
