Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
