I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
