Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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