yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize