your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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