"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
