I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
