mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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