I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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