What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
