First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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