Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
