so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
