I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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