we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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