theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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