i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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