11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize