I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
