He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
4 words: hood of his car
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
