youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I love having hate sex.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
