Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
