singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
