you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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