U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
