Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
time to smoke my breakfast
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
