I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
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I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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