I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
