It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
