Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
