you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
