You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
