i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
