i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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