Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
