he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
